Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

Fatal error

After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform. 

He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him "This is all in your mind," and refers him to a psychiatrist. 

After a few visits to the shrink, he confesses, "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured." Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor. 

The witch doctor says, "I can cure this." He throws some powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. The witch doctor says, "This is powerful healing, but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say, '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!" 

The guy then asks the witch doctor, "What happens when it's over?" The witch doctor says, "All you or your partner has to say is, '1234' and it will go down. But be warned, it will not work again for a year!" 

The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife. So he's lying in bed with her and says, "123" and suddenly he gets an erection. 

His wife turns over and says ... "What did you say '123' for?" 



Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Needed advice

Joshua went to his rabbi for some needed advice.

"Rabbi, tell me, is it proper for one man to profit from another man's mistakes?"

"No Joshua, a man should not profit from another man's mistakes" answered the rabbi.

"Ok, Rabbi, then how about returning the two hundred dollars I gave you for marrying me to my wife?"

Sunday, 7 August 2011

Odd claim

Rod's barn burned down, so he called his insurance company and told the agent, "We had that barn insured for $50,000 and I want my money."

To which the agent replied, "Wait a minute. Insurance doesn't work like that. We will send out an adjuster, ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth."

There was a long pause before Rod replied, "In that case, I'd like to cancel the policy on my wife."

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Not sure

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on marriage and moral values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"

Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"