Obsessions

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mum, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third Mum, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving. Your brothers Peter and Willy are waiting for us."

Financial woes

Even though we were on a shoestring student budget, my wife insisted we pay off the hospital bill when our son was born. Now we had to figure out how to meet our other financial obligations.

We were discussing this one night when the baby began crying for a nappy change. As my wife picked him up, she sighed, “He’s the only thing in this house that’s paid for, and he leaks.”

Beware of kids

A wife invited some people to dinner.

At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"