Showing posts with label Pets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pets. Show all posts

Thursday, 30 August 2012

Wrong excuse

A couple were going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the dog shoots back in the house. 

They don't want the dog shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out. 

The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver: "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother." 

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long" he says. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her ass downstairs and tossed her in the back yard! She better not shit in the vegetable garden again!" 

The silence in the cab was deafening.



Monday, 8 August 2011

Explain this...

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Sunday, 17 July 2011

Best advice ever

“What should I do?” wailed a panicked client to the receptionist at our vet’s office. “My dog’s just eaten two bags of unpopped popcorn!”

Clearly not alarmed as the worried pet owner, the receptionist responded coolly, “Well, the first thing I would do is keep him out of the sun.”