Get on board

In the US, buses have a sign saying, “Don’t speak to the driver.”

In England: “You are graciously requested to refrain from speaking to the driver.”

In Germany: “It is strictly forbidden for passengers to speak to the driver.”

And in Italy: “Don’t answer the driver.”

Dream job

A young man goes into the Job Centre in Jacksonville, Florida, and sees a card advertising for a Gynaecologist’s Assistant. Interested he goes to learn more...

"Can you give me some more details about this?' he asks the guy behind the desk.

The Job Centre man sorts through his files & replies - "Oh yes here it is:

The job entails you getting the lady patients ready for the gynaecologist. You have to help them out of their underwear, lie them down and carefully wash their genital regions. You then apply shaving foam and gently shave off all their pubic hair then rub in soothing oils so that they're ready for the gynaecologist’s examination. There's an annual salary of $45,000, but you're going to have to go to Oxford, Mississippi. That's about 620 miles from here."

"Oh why, is that where the job's at?"

"No sir - that's where the end of the line is!"

Reasons why...

16 Reasons Why Alcohol Should Be Served At Work

1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. It makes everyone more open to their ideas.
13. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch breaks.
14. Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
16. Sitting naked on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross.